The Ultimate Critic

http://youtu.be/IeXIJCs-d-g

This shot me in the gut. "Stop saying you're dirt. Stop saying you're scum of the earth. You ought to be careful about how you talk about someone else's work." I often put myself down for my flaws and forget to realize that I'm criticizing God, saying the thing he created is not good enough. What I ought to say is that I'm a beautiful canvas, a masterpiece that he wants to shine through. Each day I'm going to remember what God told me in this video. It hurts him more than it hurts me when I criticize myself.

We all need saving

It's sometimes difficult for me to understand just how broken I am. With my natural tendency to compare myself to others, I see I'm doing pretty well. I'm decently happy. I don't make too many people mad on a daily basis. I'm not perfect, sure, but no one is, right? And I think these things, which are totally natural, and decide that I'm not really that broken. I lose sight of the fact that I'm flawed and that I sin millions of times a day- and don't even realize it! Ultimately, I lose sight of the fact that I need saving.
It's really easy to see how much someone who is addicted to heroine needs to be saved. It's really easy to understand that someone going through a divorce needs to be saved. But when life is going great and God is blessing me, sure I give thanks, but I really stop grasping the fact that I am just as broken as a heroine addict. I'm just as sinful.
Sometimes I ask God to show me just how broken I am, and just how much I need him in my life. It seems weird to ask God to reveal to me how sinful I am because it may require me messing up (which I'm not a fan of). But I know this is a vital link in adequately being thankful for and realizing the great magnitude of Jesus's death on the cross- so that he could save me from my sin and my brokenness. Although it is somewhat scary, I challenge you to partner with me in asking God to reveal our brokenness to us. Not so that we can feel guilty or depressed at how imperfect we are, but so that we can feel the deep need to embrace a God that is not broken or sinful or imperfect. A God that wants to make us whole and pure just like Him.

First blogpost!

So this isn't my first blogpost. I lied. Sorry that's how we started this guy up, but we're rolling. I decided that I didn't like my original title of this blog and it threw the whole thing off. For one, I was embarrassed to ever say it and secondly, it was just weird. So I changed it and I'm actually really liking it. The reason I chose it was because of my testimony/ story/ what God has laid on my heart. And I'm about to tell you a little bit about it.
I've spent a good part of my life feeling invisible. And I hate feeling invisible. With a burning passion. I don't really think anyone likes feeling invisible. You see, I'm semi-shy especially in big groups where I clam up and my voice cracks and I can't think of anything valuable to say to the conversations or to anything. Over the years, and this year especially, I've finally started to feel visible (people don't say that often...I think because it sounds odd). Anyways I've grown so much over the years that I'm so comfortable now with who I am. I'm definitely not to the point of launching myself into a group of people I don't know and striking up conversation, but I feel way more confident than I ever have. Which is exciting. I know this is due to a variety of reasons but the primary reason is the Big Guy. God has continuously placed people into my life to show me that I matter and that he sees me. I'm so thankful for that. Writing also makes me feel less invisible. I hope someday God gives me the opportunity to show others they matter and are seen, and maybe he'll do that through this blog, but for now I'm just going to write about the thoughts I'm having. I think I have an interesting perspective (I hope) so we'll see how I like this. Read what you want and give me feedback if you want!